The Marauder's Guide to Life
by The Next Marauder
Summary: Join the Marauders, as they give you tips to survive in the world!
1. Tip 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Marauders, but I own the permenant marker on the desk next to me, so for that i'm happy.

**Dedication:** This is dedicated to my cold, because without it I wouldn't beable to stay home today and write this

**A/N:** Completely random idea. I'm very miffed though, because the line is still evading me. Come back line, damn it! Come back!

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_Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs_

_Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers _

_Are proud to present _

_THE MARAUDERS GUIDE TO LIFE_

Tip #1

**Stick to what you want**

Mr. Prongs would like to hug his fellow marauders for letting this tip be first.

Mr. Moony would like to point out that Mr Prongs wrote this, and did not consult his fellow marauders before hand.

Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Moony, but would like to point out that he wants to write a tip next

Mr. Prongs sincerely apologies but would like to remind his fellow marauders that none of them would be where they are now if they had not STUCK TO WHAT THEY WANTED

Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that Mr. Prongs writing in capitals is scary

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Wormtail, but he likes to write in capitals

Mr. Moony would like to point out that Mr. Prongs also likes to dance around the dormitory in his boxers.

Mr. Padfoot it cacking himself laughing

Mr. Prongs is not amused

Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that we are straying off the point

Mr. Padfoot is astounded that he himself didn't pick it up himself, but blames it on his hysterical laughter

Mr. Prongs snorts in Mr. Padfoot's general direction, and advises that if he has indeed 'cacked himself' then he should change his pants

Mr Padfoot is glaring in Mr. Prongs's general direction

Mr. Prongs is smirking back

Mr. Moony is intervening here, and would like to steer the conversation back on track.

Mr. Wormtail agrees and would like to throw out the question what_ have you stuck to?_

Mr. Prongs would like to go first

Mr. Moony sees no problem in that

Mr. Wormtail doesn't either

Mr. Padfoot is still glaring. And may be changing his pants…

Mr. Prongs has stuck to Miss Evans, and has come out not castrated, and with a girlfriend!

Mr. Moony has stuck to his decision to admit to his friends about his… condition… and came out with the same three friends.

Mr. Padfoot feels happy about that, but advises Mr. Moony not to call it his 'condition' but his Furry Little Problem…

Mr. Wormtail has stuck to trying to become an animagus, and has succeeded.

Mr. Padfoot has stuck to his dashingly handsome appearance, and has come out being the most eligible bachelor in Hogwarts

Mr. Prongs would like to point out that the bachelor part means that Mr. Padfoot is single.

Mr. Padfoot is now glaring at Mr. Prongs again

Mr. Moony is terminating the conversation


	2. Tip 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Marauders, but I own the permenant marker on the desk next to me, so for that i'm happy.

* * *

Tip #2

**Never play Paper Scissors Rock – It solves nothing!**

Mr. Prongs does not get this point

Mr. Moony does not either

Mr. Wormtail is very confused; would Mr. Padfoot care to explain?

Mr. Padfoot would love to explain. Do you remember fourth year?

Mr. Prongs remembers all of fourth year, but still does not understand

Mr. Moony thinks he has an idea of what Mr. Padfoot is getting at.

Mr. Wormtail is scratching his head in confusion

Mr. Padfoot remembers one night where the Marauders were having a discussion about their newest prank, and an argument proceeded. Mr. Moony decided that it should be resolved by a game of paper scissors rock.

Mr. Moony fully remembers this now, and is rolling his eyes

Mr. Prongs remembers too, but would like to know the point still

Mr. Wormtail is still scratching his head.

Mr. Padfoot would like to remind his fellow marauders that he came to the conclusion that paper scissors rock is a dumb game. And would also like to remind them why

Mr. Moony is shaking his head in disbelief that Mr. Padfoot has brought this up.

Mr. Prongs still does not get the point.

Mr. Padfoot would like to point out that Mr. Prongs never gets the point.

Mr. Prongs is now glaring at Mr. Padfoot

Mr. Wormtail finally remembers the game, but does not know why it is a bad game

Mr. Padfoot would now like to explain why. There's no way that paper an beat rock. It's the dumbest thing ever. Who seriously thought up that paper could beat rock?

Mr. Moony is rolling his eyes

Mr. Prongs urges Mr. Padfoot to continue, and advises him to get all his anger and frustration out.

Mr. Padfoot is continuing, and would like to point out that there is no way a paper could magically wrap around a rock and leave it immobile, even in the magical world.

Mr. Wormtail is happy that he remembers all of this conversation before, but would like to ask – where is Mr. Padfoot going?

Mr. Moony believes he is going outside.

Mr. Prongs agrees and does not like the look of this.

Mr. Wormtail is squeaking in fear, as Mr. Padfoot has brought back a rather large rock

Mr. Moony strongly advises against what Mr. Padfoot is about to do…

Mr. Padfoot does not care, and is proving a point.

_Found later written on a dirty, shredded piece of paper._

Mr. Moony is making a mental note never to trust Mr. Padfoot near a rock again…


End file.
